Baby Steps

Curran Jnr hasn’t arrived yet, but he/she is in the post (or “in transit” if you believe in that whole stork/baby thing), so I’m posting a pre-fatherhood blog entry on where I am with the writing.

This week I started Chapter One of The Fortress of Black Glass. I’m glad to report that the first two thousand words were a dream to write and I’ve suffered no ill-effects of writing a non-Secret War novel in between, nor has pre-baby stress affected the prose. As it stands, it’s been the easiest start to a Secret War novel yet, and is certainly the most gothic start to any of the books. It opens in the city of Arhus, Denmark, following a funeral cortège no less, and pretty much goes down hill from there – with my usual pyrotechnics and angelic intervention. It’s an explosive opening to the book – or will be once I’ve completed the chapter… because I’ve halted mid paragraph until September, regardless of how long it takes for the baby to arrive.
“Why would you do that?” I hear you ask. After all, shouldn’t I be making the most of the time I have without dirty nappies and midnight feeds, to write down as much of the novel as I can? Well, yes, I suppose.
And no.

You see, it’s all about baby steps. That and not losing my head. At the end of September, Macmillan will be expecting the first chapter, the synopsis to the book, and a synopsis to a new trilogy I have planned called “The Last”. The synopses to both Fortress and The Last are done, and they’re not bad at all. However, based on what I send them, Macmillan may offer me a substantial long term contract. Which is great news, right?
But what if I can’t deliver what I’ve promised? What if personal circumstances mean that whatever advance I get I can’t fulfil?
What if the quality of my writing weakens through mental and physical weariness once the baby arrives?
Despite Brian McGilloway and Aliya Whiteley’s assurances that having a baby isn’t the end of writing, it certainly will be disruptive. Every baby experience is different, and I am not counting on having a dream baby who sleeps all night and hardly wants attention. Nor am I counting on just Sarah to bring up our child – I need to be there too. I want to be heavily involved.
I also have a day-job that has become increasingly pressured and something, somewhere, must give – the flesh and the spirit can be battered. (I wouldn’t be the first writer to stop writing because of a baby, nor would I be the last.)

So in September I’ll begin writing again and I’ll begin writing with four months of sleepless nights behind me. I’ll be conditioned. I’ll know then whether or not I can carry off this challenge – whether or not I can write four drafts of a 140,000 word novel in 18 months, with a baby to look after and a day-job to go to. If I can complete the first chapter in September (that has had the best of starts) then – for me – that will be proof enough that I can deliver what Macmillan wants from me. I’ll know if –mentally - I’m up for it, and I can send Macmillan the first chapter and two synopses with confidence.
And who knows, maybe if everything goes well, I’ll be writing before then.

So for now it’s baby steps – tentative ones to get the book going, and in the right direction. That and perhaps a blog entry.
Or two.